Cobblers about Guilt

January 17, 2018

Cobblers about Guilt

On playground duty, many years ago, I was called over to sort out a minor skirmish. Eventually I found the culprit, whose excuse was,

“I didn’t hit him, Miss…. honest! His face just went in my hand!”

Last blog, I left you all hanging in the air with this thought – “I know my child is dyslexic. I appreciate my child’s strengths and intelligence. How can I come to terms with the fact that others may not see my child as I do?”

One of the emotions which we discuss at our workshops is guilt. As parents, you want to make things right for your dyslexic child, and yet you can’t – you feel powerless. You nurture your dyslexic child at home, you try to support their interests, help them with their home learning, maybe provide additional learning support by getting a tutor. The worry is sending him or her out every day into a world which appears not to understand.       What can you do?

Guilt is a very powerful emotion. When you feel guilty, the reaction is to attach blame to someone or something.  Blame can be turned outwards, wanting to punish others, or inwards, punishing yourself. In extreme cases, you feel angry, and anger tends to block out reason.

How many times have you got to this state during a parent’s evening?

When you blame someone, you are really looking for that person to acknowledge their responsibility and take action. In the case of the playground incident, that child refused to take responsibility for his actions because he knew he would have to deal with the consequences – to be proactive. He even de-personalised the event by actually blaming the other boy’s face!

Yet if you explore the idea of blame, it can lead to something very positive. Blame guides you towards recognising who or what is causing the distress. If you can pin-point exactly what it is, then you are part way to taking action.

Take some time to think about it. If you feel guilty, who do you really blame – the government, the LEA, the school, your partner, yourself or even your child!?

 

For more ideas, read………. ‘Cobblers about Memory’

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01297 445464